From Self Victim to Self Mastery

How to overcome the victim mentality

According to Webster's dictionary, the victim mentality is “The belief that one is always a victim : the idea that bad things will always happen to one” Or in other words, it is when you blame outside sources for your misfortune, rather than holding yourself accountable and taking responsibility for one’s life, and in this case, for one’s well-being. So many of us get caught up in the victim mentality and it can stop us from transforming and becoming better and healthier versions of ourselves.

Here are 7 signs that you may have a victim mentality

1. You blame others for the way your life turned out

2. You think life or “God” is against you

3. You take everything personally

4. You let outside sources stop you from achieving and accomplishing your goals

5. You have a more negative or pessimistic mindset towards yourself and the world

6. You feel powerless

7. Constant complaining

So you found out that you have a victim mentality, now how can you change that?

Well the first thing to do is to start realizing that every action or inaction you take is a choice. You can choose to eat healthy or to not eat healthy, you can choose to go to the gym, or to not go, etc. Your life is made up of a bunch of choices and decisions. To do, or not to do something.

In the realm of wellness, you can choose to make changes and better your health, or you can choose not to; it really is up to YOU.

This is when you start to take back control of your life, by examining the choice

s you make frequently/daily (habits). Examine your habits and notice which ones are keeping you from reaching your health goals, which habits are stopping you from becoming your healthiest version? Take a second and ponder on this question, maybe grab a journal and write down your thoughts.

Now that you have done this, it is time to take charge, take your health back; your health is in YOUR hands, no one else can “make” you healthy, you have to do it yourself. This is why getting rid of the victim mentality is so important. It is like a blockage that keeps you from seeing the role that you play within your own life. The quote “life is what you make it” doesn’t exist for nothing, life truly is what you make it, so make it healthy and enjoyable.

Getting rid of the victim mentality can take lots of shadow work. Shadow works involves exploring the part of your self that have been hidden deep down within you, the parts of yourself that you hide, ignore or dislike, and facing your true self. This involves facing the inner truth of yourself and your reality. What decisions and habits have brought you to this point in your life? When doing shadow work it is important to not run from your thoughts and feelings, if you need to cry then cry, if you’re angry then feel angry. Start to ask yourself questions that will lead you to the right answers. As the answers start coming to you, you will then begin to make adjustments.

For example, you realized that the reason you crave sweets at night is because as a child, you could only get sweets after dinner, which is most common at nighttime. So now your subconscious mind (makes 95% of our decisions) associates night time with sweets, and your body naturally begins to crave sweets at night. Shadow work is how you heal your wounds; it helps you to let go of your past and start anew.

In terms of health and wellness my favorite quote to say is “You must master your health to master yourself.” When you think about, doing what is right and best for your well-being involves taking care of, and loving yourself fully. It involves letting go of those past experiences that have hurt you and that are currently holding you back from transformation. Transforming your health and well-being takes healing and releasing the victim mentality, the “I can’t” mentality, the finger pointing and blaming. To really take back your health you have to realize and KNOW, that you are the one that is in control, and that by changing the choices to do or not to do something will make all the difference.

This is a stage where most, if not all people struggle. This is the stage of getting uncomfortable, and taking action. Your mind is going to try and hold you back because change can be intimidating and uncomfortable. Have you heard the saying “get comfortable with being uncomfortable?,” this is the time to do so. If you find yourself really struggling to make changes, then you may need to look into getting a health coach. Someone that can help you set realistic goals for yourself, and help you take the action you’ve been needing to take.

To conclude, your health and well-being is up to you. Realize that you are in the driver seat of your life and you get to steer it in any direction you want.

You can learn more about my health coaching services here.